Porcelain Tears of Polaris
by Angel-Hiragizawa32
Summary: Fate brought a girl to the end of her life with an illness. It was kept a secret until he stumbled upon it. Attachments were hard to let go and love was one of them. ExT.*I wish to come back to them again*- Tomoyo *completed*
1. Porcelain Mask

Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/n: Hello: D It's me! I'm back again! I'm gonna be writing another ExT fic. Lol! It sets out a very different approach, sorta anyway. This one just came from an inspirational writing. I don't know how I got it but I just did. A simple piece from an author who happens to feel many different emotions at one time. So, sit back and relax.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*-*- - - - Knowing the broken soul - - - -*-*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*The beginning*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
So it begins.....  
  
A tale with my heart being torn to pieces all over again....  
  
My fear for falling in love...  
  
All over again...  
  
So tell me..  
  
Was it my mistake to fall with my face flat down.?  
  
Behind my mask of a thousand faces....  
  
Did anyone see how different I turn out to be?  
  
Even with my tears....  
  
No one understood how I felt....  
  
I feel like death coming towards me...  
  
I am afraid to die..  
  
For I know that when I do...  
  
I will never love again...  
  
  
  
  
  
* *  
  
  
  
Raven beauty with sparkling eyes of Amethyst.  
  
Intelligence, high IQ, talent, child prodigy.  
  
Star, only child, filthy rich, loved by many.  
  
Enchanting, dainty, polite, demure, perfect.  
  
  
  
She who holds all this was only human. Walking through the halls of the Daidouji mansion with her backpack on her back and a couple of folders in her hands, she made her way down to the dining hall. School was going on like usual. Today was no different. In some ways it is but in some other ways, it wasn't. She looked at her watch and searched for her mobile phone. It was due to ring any moment. She counted backwards from 10. By the time she reached '1', her mobile phone rings, she picks it up and answers it.  
  
  
  
"Moshi- Moshi", she answered.  
  
  
  
The caller seemed to be in distress with her homework. She smiled at the panicking voice of her best friend. It was about 7.25am and it was just about an hour more till school starts. Her friend decided to finish her homework as soon as possible and quickly said goodbye. She smiled and pressed the hang up button. As she walked down the staircase, she is greeted by many of her servants and her butler, Martin. She smiled at them and greeted 'Good morning' to each and every one of them. They replied her greeting with a sad smile, knowing what fate the young mistress had.  
  
She walked another 5 minutes into the main hall and took a left turn to the dining hall where her mother was already there like usual, on the phone and eating her toast. She gave her mother a quick kiss on the cheek and greeted a silent 'Good morning' to her. She went over to the other side of the long table to her seat. In front of her was a perfect silver platter with a sunny side up egg, two sausages, a mushroom and a tomato on it. It was a typical English breakfast, one of her favourite breakfast styles despite that she lives in Japan. To be exact, in a little town call Tomoeda.  
  
She got her napkin and placed it on her lap. Then, she took her knife and fork and began to cut the sausages into tiny little pieces before dipping it in the egg yolk which she broke. A maid came in with a cup of coffee on the tray. She placed the coffee down in front of the young mistress. She smiled and said a word of gratitude. The maid left with a smile on her face. The young mistress added a couple teaspoons of sugar into her cup of coffee. It was her favourite, Caramel Macchiato. The dark black coffee had cream on top with caramel on the cream. She liked the caramel touch to it. She sipped the beverage filled with caffeine and continued eating her breakfast.  
  
Her mother got off the phone and turned to her. Her mother announced that she will not be home for a whole week due to her meetings that are held all around the world. Managing a toy company wasn't easy for a single widowed woman. Her father had died when she was a child. She never got to know her father but he had left her a lot memories lying around the house. Portraits of him and her mother hung all around the mansion. She had her father's amethyst eyes and her father's nature. Her mother apologized for not being able to spend time with her. She smiled at her mother saying that it was alright.  
  
When she was done with breakfast, she bid farewell to her mother and got all her things together. She put on her shoes and walked out to the limousine which was waiting for her. Her driver, Francis greeted her and smiled. She returned the favor and got into the car. The ride to Tomoeda High School was a quick 15 minute ride. Once the driver stopped and got out of the car to open the door for her, she got out with her bag and folders. She muttered another word of gratitude to the driver as she walked into the main entrance of the school.  
  
  
  
"Daidouji-san!" a group of three girls greeted.  
  
"Ohayo Daidouji-san!" a tall squinty eye boy greeted.  
  
  
  
The girl smiled as she walked towards the group of people who greeted her. The guy was Yamazaki, the one who's very interested in telling lies and scaring people. The three girls were Reika, Naoko and Chiharu. Chiharu and Yamazaki are together. They've been in a relationship since they were in elementary school. Together, they walked into the school together. They belong the one of the most popular students group. All of them were known rather well in school.  
  
Yamazaki was known for his lies and of course, his leadership skills in classes and outside activities. Reika was known to be as the co-captain of the cheerleader squad. Naoko was known for her brilliant writings for the school newspaper and Chiharu was known as the other co-captain of the cheerleader squad.  
  
The other people who were part of the group that was not present at the moment was Syaoran, Sakura and of course, Eriol. Syaoran was the star soccer captain of the school's squad. Sakura was the captain of the cheerleader squad and Eriol was the best piano player in the school. All of them contribute a lot to the school in many different ways. They were also academically brilliant.  
  
As for her, she was the star of the school choir. She was also the top student in the entire form. She was by far, the best student in school. She held position as the school's head prefect as she was a senior student in the school. She was much admired and well respected in the school as much as the other members of the group. As one of the girls in the group, she was one of the prettiest and sought after girls as well. She stood at 5'7, slim and dainty. She had a brilliant figure and a starry look. Long layered shoulder length raven hair cascaded down her shoulders matched up with the amethyst eyes that carry wonders of mysteries.  
  
In a group, they walked into the school and parted to their separate lockers. Reika's locker was just next to hers so she had Reika walking with her. As she clicked in the combination and opened the locker, a few envelopes from secret admirers fell out and a long stem of dark red rose lie inside the locker on her books. She picked the envelopes up and put it in the box in her locker that she had got specially to collect the envelopes. She took out the rose and smelled it, instantly knowing who it was from. She turned around to catch the sender's eyes and caught them. She gave him a nod and smiled. The sender replied her smile and walked over to the two girls. Reika giggled.  
  
  
  
"Ohayo Reika-san", he said.  
  
"Ohayo Hiragizawa-kun, I'll be leaving now. I have to meet up with Naoko and Chiharu", she said.  
  
  
  
He turned towards her and smiled. She turned around and replied the courteous smile.  
  
  
  
"Ohayo Daidouji-san", he said, lifting her hand to his lips, leaving a kiss on it.  
  
"Ohayo Hiragizawa-kun, thanks for the flower again. Although I must ask for you to stop putting flowers in my locker, I always end up clearing them out into the trash can every week and I really don't like to waste your effort like that", she told him.  
  
  
  
He smiled at her. Besides Sakura, Eriol was also her best friend. They have been the closest of friends and have confided in each other whenever they needed to. He knew her by observation and she knew him by his words. They were usually seen together in the music room, practicing and talking. The two was also thought to be a couple by many students although they weren't. Together, they walked to class and met up with Sakura and Syaoran who were both blushing due to the many teases from Yamazaki and Chiharu. Sakura gave her a big hug and she smiled.  
  
  
  
"Tomoyo-chan!!!!!!" she said.  
  
"Ohayo Daidouji-san", Syaoran greeted.  
  
  
  
She gave Sakura a quick squeeze and replied Syaoran's greeting. Just as they went into the class and to their respected seats, the bell rang signifying that class has started. The teacher walked in and called the roll. As in cue, students raised their hand when the names were called out. The class was in session and the first period was math, one of her favourite subjects. She looked in front, got her books out and paid attention.  
  
  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
Her life seems so perfect, doesn't it? She had everything a normal girl could ever want. Her smiles were just so assuring and her facial mask took place everyday. She was lucky as she have every material thing that could be offered. She was just the perfect figure that everyone would admire and of course, cherish like a porcelain doll. Such beauty must be treated with fragility and respect.  
  
She had feelings too. She had also fallen in love once, just for the wrong person. It would be a rather unacceptable relationship if it did manage to work. To fall for your best friend who is a girl was just disgusting in the eyes of the higher society. She knew it and she got over it. After all, she could see that her best friend was better off with someone else who could bring her more happiness than anyone else in the world. Her best friend's happiness was hers as well.  
  
Her tears were never seen. Her heart ached inside but never outside. The only person who have ever seen her at that certain phase was her other best friend, Eriol Hiragizawa. He had appeared at her house one night when she was crying and he was there to comfort her. He had held her in his arms and spent the night with her just to ensure her security and friendship. He had given it to her without her even asking. For that, she was grateful.  
  
Behind the mask of the girl and the many secrets she held was one of the biggest obstacle of her life. She was diagnosed with an illness. She had lung cancer. To be more specific, she had Malignant Mesothelioma. It is when the cancer cells are found in the sac lining of the chest or abdomen. In her case, it was on the chest. It was also one of the most uncommon types of lung cancer and only 5- 10% types of lung cancers are of this kind. She was on her hardest part of life as she was on stage 4 where all of the cancer cells have spread to distant organs and tissues. Even with treatment, the doctors reckon it was too late for her.  
  
No one knew about her illness besides her mother, the people who lived in the mansion with her and herself. It had all started when she had started coughing out blood, have shortness in breath, chest pains, fatigue and constant pneumonia. She was always sick and had always given the reason of just having a cold. After all, her immune system was usually weak. She was never known to do any hard sport activities. When she went to the specialists, they had all said that it was far too late for her. Nothing can cure her anymore. They could try to stop it from growing and possibly delay her cancer cells to give her a longer lifespan but it would not save her from her fate.  
  
The fate that she carried was far too harsh for a 17 year old. She had so much to live for and yet, life had treated her so cruelly. Being optimistic in everything, this to her was just another obstacle in life. She had acceptance and had already accepted the fact that it was going to happen. Those were her strong points. She was always optimistic in everything. She had always thought of the brighter side. Maybe that's why she thought it would be easy to just let go and live life at its fullest. What she didn't expect was that, life wasn't just going to let her let go just like that without another obstacle. One of the hardest in fact. One that will inquire her emotions to be shown. It will be one obstacle that will either crush her forever or make her stronger. Which of the following?  
  
  
  
-That is for you my dear reader, to find out-  
  
  
  
Oh... And of course....  
  
Not to forget...  
  
Her name is Tomoyo Daidouji...  
  
This is just the story of the last moments in her life....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*to be continued*  
  
A/n: A very short beginning but I do hope you like it because it's a trilogy. This is the first chapter of three. I want to keep it short and simple but yet, I want to let it out. I hope you do enjoy this and you will like it. So do leave a review and tell me what you think. Thanks. 


	2. Emotions of the doll

Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura  
  
  
  
A/n: Hello, how are you doing? Hope you are fine and ready for this chapter. Mind you, but this is by far the longest chapter that I've ever written in my life. This chapter goes out to my dear sugar honey bun KyteAura! That wonderful chic reads every single ExT there is in FF.net I'm telling you! Hehehe and she give tremendous support to us authors. I'm sure many other authors do agree with me. Lol! So KyteAura, my darling Tomoyo- chan (due to some random guild in neopets) do enjoy this little ficcie.  
  
P/s: I would also like to ask if you have MSN and you think this story should continue, add me and talk to me because I can get real lonely sometimes. So yea, read the story and give it a think. :D *CHEERS*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*Continuation*  
  
  
  
  
  
Title of Fiction: Porcelain Tears of Polaris (Poosuren Koimizu Hokkyokusei)  
  
  
  
  
  
*-*------- = = = = Broken Spirits towards a Broken Soul = = = = -------*-*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Obstacles comes through my path .......  
  
I do not care for I have nothing to be attached to ..........  
  
I may seem cold in that way .........  
  
But if you look at me properly ........  
  
You'll see a girl who's afraid to love .......  
  
Because she is too afraid of what love would do ......  
  
To her....  
  
And the one who loves her ........  
  
  
  
  
  
* *  
  
  
  
  
  
Days go by like it had always gone. She had been on the smiling mode for almost everyday. It was a pretty sight to see.  
  
Tomoyo, the smiling star.  
  
She had been truly happy during the whole week despite the horrible chemotherapy that she had to go through. She had begun to experience nothing but physical pain. However, it was nothing that she couldn't handle. The blood that she coughed out had also come out in clods but she ignored it.  
  
After all, it did not matter.  
  
Time was the essence and she knew that she had to tell someone.  
  
Just didn't know that the someone would be him.  
  
She thought that it would have been so easy to not let her emotions out.  
  
She was wrong; it had been harder than she had thought.  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
  
  
Just about a couple days ago, she was invited to Eriol's mansion for tea.  
  
Of course, she did not decline the offer. Nakuru made the tastiest Earl Grey tea and she was content to spending more time with Eriol. It seems that he was quite troubled. Of course, being his secretive self, he would not reveal anything to her. She just smiled and waited for him to tell.  
  
  
  
"Hiragizawa-kun, tell me, what has been troubling you this few days? You seem restless", Tomoyo asked.  
  
  
  
He smiled at her, the trademark one. The one that made every girl in Tomoeda high swoon and melt there and then. The one that he smiled to keep the people around him comfortable.  
  
  
  
"Nothing at all. Just some minor little problems", he answered, truthfully.  
  
"Are you sure?" she asked, raising an eyebrow on him.  
  
  
  
He shot her another smile and sipped his tea.  
  
  
  
"Absolutely positively sure", he answered.  
  
  
  
She let him off. She respected his decision since he didn't want to tell him. She knew better than to force it out of him. He was one with all the mystery and secrets behind his spectacles and those dark azure eyes of his.  
  
  
  
To her, he had grown a lot. He was tall of course, the same height as Syaoran and Yamazaki. A perfect height of 6'4, English perfection. His natural navy blue hair was just the way it was a few years ago. It was naturally straight and of course, naturally middle parted, giving him the young boyish looks that he captures his admirers with.  
  
He was not one with sports but he was one with art. His artwork, paintings, drawings and sketches were always at the scale of perfection. He had done many beautiful pastel paintings which were hung in the school's art rooms.  
  
Music was his other passion that she had noticed. The piano was his key element and his key tool. His performances in school and his private performances to her were utterly magnificent. The pieces that he played brought more than just emotions to the listener but it had brought life to the piece with different sways of flows. She was lucky enough to hear him play.  
  
The other secret that she had kept of him was one about his past love. Kaho Mizuki or Mizuki-sensei was the woman that he had grown to love. It was a bitter break up. She who has promised to stay by her side had broken the promise by leaving him saying that they do not belong together. She could not love Eriol for who he was because she was only in love with Clow Reed. It had broken his heart permanently but it mended in time.  
  
Tomoyo was the one who helped him through it. She was the one who pulled him out of it. She was there when it all happened. She happened to stop by and Nakuru had let her in. When she stopped by at the room, she heard a soft voice explaining everything. Then, Mizuki-sensei left and was never to be seen again. Eriol was broken. He didn't know how to act.  
  
She spent about two weeks with him in the mansion, comforting him till he snapped out of it. She was there to extricate him from the pain that was in his heart. She was comforting. She let him be alone for a few days before really getting to help him. She was there, being her effeminacy self. He had first tried to block her from helping him but that didn't work. She had gotten through his barriers than no one else had.  
  
Together, they had tea at the open garden along with Nakuru and Spinel Sun. Like usual, Nakuru and Spinel Sun were bickering over some random stuff that Nakuru had been doing. Nakuru was pouting and calling Spinel by his nickname 'Suppi-chan'. He was obviously annoyed. Nakuru ended up stalking off, angrily into the house.  
  
It was an adorable sight to see. Then, Tomoyo asked Eriol to walk with her in the gardens that never seem to die with the seasons. It was already towards the end of spring and the garden looked spectacular. The roses were beautiful, the lavenders were fragrant, the lilies were attractive, the orchids were enchanting and the rest of the flowers were just breath taking.  
  
It was really, a sight to see. The last time she was in the garden was with Sakura and Syaoran along with Eriol, of course. They were doing a group project on different species of flowers for Science and had to go get a few different kinds and flowers to press dry for their presentation.  
  
Still, she never seems to get sick of the garden. It was like heaven to her and she was like the Goddess who danced in the gardens although she was only walking and touching every single flower with her soft, gentle fingers.  
  
Spinel Sun and Eriol was observing the girl from where they were standing. Spinel Sun had agreed to follow them and he had seen a very slight difference in Tomoyo. He decided to make a few comments on it to his master. He seems to have taken account with the way she interacted with the flowers. It was as though as she was cherishing it for its life as if she will never see them again.  
  
  
  
"Eriol-sama, doesn't Daidouji-san seem a bit to cheery for some reason?" he asked.  
  
  
  
Eriol nodded his head as they both observed Tomoyo.  
  
  
  
"I sense her aura weakening, Master. It worries me that she seems to be hiding something again", Spinel said.  
  
"I have noticed it too, Spinel but I will not force it out of her. Knowing her, she will keep it until she is ready to tell and I do not wish to pry into her mind to find out without her consent", Eriol said.  
  
  
  
The flying creature nodded and sat on Eriol's shoulder. Eriol walked towards Tomoyo who was enjoying herself with the charming sight of the plum blossoms. She was so in content with the flower. She reached out and grazed the flower, feeling the delicate texture with her long fingers. She leaned forward to smell it; the fragrance took her to another utopian era. It was simply marvelous.  
  
  
  
"I must insist, Daidouji-san that you stay for the night here with us", Eriol stated.  
  
"Oh Hiragizawa-kun, I do not wish to be a bother to you", Tomoyo answered.  
  
"A bother? What makes you think you are a bother to me? I must insist that you do stay the night with us", Eriol said.  
  
"Well.. Alright, I will stay since mother isn't home anyway. Let me make a phone call and I shall join you for the night", Tomoyo said.  
  
  
  
Tomoyo smiled and the three walked back into the mansion. Eriol told Nakuru about Tomoyo spending the night with them and instantly, she went on a hyper mode. She hugged Tomoyo in hysterics. That caused Tomoyo to smile even more.  
  
  
  
  
  
* * * *  
  
  
  
  
  
That night she helped Nakuru and Eriol with cooking the dinner. Spinel Sun watched and tasted the food. Together, they managed to avoid the usual burning down kitchen incidents that Nakuru had always make. They made an Italian meal and a dessert to hit it off. Tomoyo and Eriol's skills in cooking were absolutely a big help to the meal. They were both busy in making the sauces and the perfect dish.  
  
Nakuru was the one to cut the vegetables, meet and prepare the ingredients while Tomoyo and Eriol cooked. The three settled for Spaghetti Bolognaise and Alfredo Fettuccini. For desert, they made Tiramisu. It was a rather busy timing to cook with all that was to be done.  
  
Nakuru watched as both Tomoyo and Eriol got themselves busy with cooking the meal. Tomoyo got to boiling the hot water and cooking the spaghetti and white Fettuccini. It took quite a bit for it to cook as it was dried. Tomoyo made Nakuru watch it boil as she added salt into the water.  
  
With the noodles being made ready, Eriol was already heating up the pan with olive oil. He was making the Bolognaise sauce for the spaghetti. He fried the chopped garlic and onions until it brought a nice fragrance and added some herbs into it as well. He stirred it for a while and added in the minced pork and beef into it. With the fire being nice and hot, the meat seems to cook easily. He stirred it as he added it the tomato puree. Just after that, he let it simmer for a while. He added the salt and sugar to it and closed the lid.  
  
Tomoyo went to busy herself with the Alfredo sauce. The Alfredo sauce was basically a three cheese sauce. A mix of Parmesan, Mozzarella and normal cheese was cooked and melted into a sauce. The olive oil was added in first into the small pot. The olive oil was the most important ingredient in Italian dishes, it is said to bring the flavors from the soil to the food.  
  
Tiny chopped pieces of garlic were fried with the mushrooms. Salt and sugar was added of course. Slight herbs like thyme and chives were added in to bring aroma. Then, she added in the three cheeses that were already melted into the mix and gave it a nice stir. She added a bit of water and let the sauce boil and thicken.  
  
By the time the spaghetti and fettuccini was done, the sauce was also done. Spinel Sun helps by setting up the table at the dining hall. He also helps by setting up the cutleries on the table. Both the chefs gave Nakuru a taste of their sauce and she started jumping up and down due to the delicious taste lingering in her mouth. When it was done, the three set up to work on the Tiramisu.  
  
The Tiramisu was some sort of an egg and cream pudding. It was also some sort of a soufflé but not really one as well. The three settled in for a small dish of it. In a bowl, Tomoyo whisked the egg and cream together along with a couple of spoons of sugar. She added a bit of coffee powder and Kahlua into it to give it the flavor.  
  
Eriol and Nakuru cut the sponge fingers and laid it into the plate for layering. When Tomoyo was done stirring the cream together, she sprayed the cream on top of the sponge fingers and let it have a generous amount of cream. Another layer of sponge fingers were added and the rest of the cream was spread nicely on top.  
  
Since the tiramisu was supposed to be left overnight in the fridge for the flavor to blend, Eriol whisked a bit of his magic to make it the way it was supposed to be without having to leave it overnight. The Tiramisu was done and was left in the fridge while the three went to serve the rest of the food.  
  
Dinner was superb. The dishes turned out pretty well and it was delicious. The four chatted away as they enjoyed their food, happy that it had all turned out pretty well. Nakuru couldn't help but go hyper as she savored the food. Spinel Sun made a comment about Nakuru being a daft for being so into her food. He also commented that if she doesn't stop eating, she's going to be so fat that she can't fit into the door.  
  
Nakuru was angry but she allowed it to slip. She knew how to get him back for it when it comes to dessert. She is going the stuff the Tiramisu in his mouth and watch as he act all hyper and drunk. Eriol and Tomoyo exchanged glances and exchanged smiles as they continue to eat their dinner.  
  
  
  
  
  
* * * * *  
  
  
  
The chords and running scales of Pachelbel's Cannon in D major was heard in the middle of the night throughout the mansion. Tomoyo was awakened the gentle tune of the piece. She knew instantly that it was Eriol. She grabbed the borrowed robes of Nakuru and headed downstairs to the hall where she knew Eriol was at, playing the piece. She made her way through the dark halls.  
  
The specific piece was one of her many favorites. It was simple and sweet by hearing but to play it was complicated. When she got to the room, she saw Eriol sitting on the bench with his fingers playing on the keys. She found an armchair and sat on it, watching him play the enchanting tune. She liked the way Eriol had managed to bring emotions into the piece. It was touching and beautiful.  
  
As he ended the piece with running chords, Tomoyo clapped to his superb playing. He turned around to see her, sitting on the chair just by the window where the moonlight had shine to her face, creating a very beautiful goddess smiling at him. He shook his head, trying to discard the thought that he had fallen for her. He had asked her to go out with her once but she had gently rejected him saying that it was better that they stay friends. He had respected her decision but never stopped loving her.  
  
  
  
"What are you doing up so late, Hiragizawa-kun?" she said.  
  
  
  
Another smile from the pianist.  
  
  
  
"Just some running thoughts in my head", he answered.  
  
"Care to share them with me?" she asked.  
  
  
  
He made his way towards her and sat by the bay window just next to her.  
  
  
  
"I was thinking of you actually", he said.  
  
"Me?" she asked, questioningly.  
  
"Yes you, my dear Daidouji-san", he said.  
  
  
  
A quick blush crept on her cheeks as she looked into his eyes. She had a slight fear in falling in love. Truth was, she did have feelings for him but had not pursue it as to her illness. She had rejected him the other time telling him that she would prefer it better if they stay friends because of some personal reasons that she would not disclose. He did not ask her to explain on furthermore and had respected her decision.  
  
  
  
"What about me, Hiragizawa-kun?" she asked.  
  
"Well, let's just say that lately I've notice your aura weakening and I am rather suspicious about your health. Do tell, Daidouji-san, are you alright?" he asked.  
  
  
  
She didn't know what to answer him. The secret that she had kept so well. It was just about to be blown, just like that? A mixture of hesitation and longing crept inside of her, swirling in deep fusion. She looked back into his eyes.  
  
Suddenly, a pain struck her chest as if someone pounding a hammer on her. She winced in pain, grabbing her chest. She closed her eyes, filling the air in her lungs being sucked out. She began coughing hysterically.  
  
Eriol panicked as he watched her wince in pain and cough in madness. Her aura as he sensed began to drop. He watched her cough into her hands and saw dark red droplets dripping down her hand. His eyes widened. She looked as if she couldn't breath.  
  
He held his hand to her chest and concentrated on it. His energy was placed into hers and it had help calm her down a bit. Her coughs stopped and her breathing seemed to be normal again. She had her eyes closed as she felt the painful sensation leave her.  
  
The quick pain had managed to answer Eriol's answer. He helped her to the bathroom to clean up the blood on her hands. There was silence throughout the short trip there. She let the water run as she washed the blood off her hands and her mouth. She gurgled the water in her mouth and spit it out. She knew that she had to tell Eriol.  
  
He helped her again as she was weak into her room. She kept tumbling down as if she was too weak. Then, Eriol just put his arm under her knees and picked her up. She muffled a weak protest but had known better as she was weak. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her.  
  
  
  
"Hiragizawa-kun, you cannot tell Sakura or the others about this", she muttered, weakly.  
  
  
  
He was silent as he carried her into her room. He did not answer her at all. He set her down on the bed and put the duvet on her. Then, he sat down just on the side of her bed, waiting for her to tell him about her condition.  
  
She looked up at him, with her amethyst orbs. She was weak and she was in pain. She had kept the secret for quite sometime and she knew that it was no coincidence that Eriol had found out. Maybe she had wanted him to find out the moment he invited her for the night. She had wanted to tell him about it for so long. She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. Dark azure met amethyst.  
  
  
  
"Eriol..... I'm dying", she said.  
  
  
  
At that moment, his facial expressions changed to disbelief. She reached out for his hand and held it. She had felt what he was feeling. The feeling of empathy when someone was about to lose their life was harsh.  
  
  
  
"How?" he asked.  
  
"I have lung cancer. Malignant Mesothelioma to be exact. I'm on stage 4 of the cancer and the cancer cells have already spread out to my organs and tissues", she said, tears forming.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me? Or us?" He asked.  
  
  
  
She covered her eyes and just cried. He instantly wrapped his arms around her as she cried. She held on to his shirt as if it was the last thing that she could hold on to.  
  
  
  
"I... I... I just couldn't bring myself to tell you. Eriol-kun.... Please help me... I'm desperate.. I don't know how to feel or what to do..." she said, crying.  
  
  
  
"Ssh, it's alright", he said, comforting her and himself.  
  
  
  
He held her in his arms for the night. She started to tell him about her condition and had mentioned how much time she had left. She told him that she didn't want any attachments as it would be hard for her to let go. He had understood her.  
  
  
  
"I have found so much that I can let go and I just don't think that I want any attachments that will make it hard for me to let go. If I die, I would want to rest in peace", she said.  
  
"So that was why you rejected me?" he asked.  
  
  
  
She nodded her head. He was still holding her. Her head rested on his chest as her back was pressed against him. He held her by the waist as she rested her hands on his.  
  
  
  
"But did you feel anything for me?" he asked.  
  
"Yes, I did", she answered, softly.  
  
"Then, why won't you let me share your last moments with you?" he asked, gently.  
  
Tears began to fall again. She couldn't answer him. She didn't know what to answer him. It would be hard for her. This one something that she couldn't help but feel. He turned her around so she would face him. She looked into his eyes, unable to lie about her feelings anymore.  
  
  
  
"They say that the eyes are the windows to one's soul", he murmured, tracing her jaw line with his finger.  
  
"Is that really true?" she said.  
  
  
  
He wiped away her tears with his thumb and traced her jaw line once again.  
  
  
  
"I do believe so", he whispered.  
  
"Then, tell me what do you see in mine", she said, softly.  
  
  
  
He leaned in and looked even more deeply into her eyes. He held her face in his hands and felt her shiver.  
  
  
  
"I see a girl longing to be loved but is afraid to love", he murmured.  
  
  
  
She gave out a sad smile.  
  
  
  
"But she knows that she has someone loving her no matter how hard she tries not to love him back", he said.  
  
"I never said I could never love you back", she said.  
  
"Tomoyo, please let me in. Let me be the one to share the rest of your life with you", he begged her.  
  
  
  
Another tear trickled down her cheek.  
  
  
  
"I.. I ...."  
  
  
  
Before she could answer him, he had already leaned in to claim her lips. The kiss was filled in with emotions impassioned for far too long. He let the kiss be a sweet one so that she would always remember it with her. He knew that it was special because it was her first kiss. Her delicate lips were captured by his but she had allowed herself to respond to his soft calls.  
  
The night was cold. Together, they both tried to figure things out. Both scared for each other. She was with him and it was all that had mattered to her. She had been afraid of not being able to let go but now, she didn't care. Her mind and her heart were not on the same terms. He had took her to somewhere that she had not been before. It had felt secure and warm.  
  
That night was one of much warmth despite the coldness of the air. She had told him, the one person that had held her heart her deepest secret. She had also let him into her heart for that one night. What they had that night was special, something that they would both share forevermore.  
  
  
  
  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
  
  
  
School was like the usual. The same things happen. She got to her locker and opened it. It had been two days since she had spent the night at Eriol's. That morning she had left. He didn't come after her. He gave her space to think. That night was something special to her. It was more than just a night where secrets were let out, emotions were let out as well. She had walked to school not meeting anyone at all. It was still a bit empty as it was quite early. She had come to have more time alone.  
  
She grabbed her things and came to her locker. She got the combination in and opened it. Today was no different, letters and envelopes fell down and were inserted into the special box. However, the dark red rose that usually lay in her locker was replaced by a dark navy blue one with a note as well. She held the envelope and took the note out. She unfolded the paper, reading the contents of it that was written in perfect linings.  
  
  
  
  
  
It takes more than courage to love,  
  
It takes more than steps to get above,  
  
Secrets can only cover so much,  
  
Why do you keep yourself to extents of such?  
  
  
  
-Eriol Hiragizawa.  
  
  
  
  
  
She folded the note and left it in the locker. She turned around, feeling his presence. She jumped a little, startled by his presence.  
  
  
  
"Ohayo Daidouji-san", he said, in a rather cold tone.  
  
"Ohayo Hiragizawa-kun", she answered.  
  
  
  
An awkward silence followed by a group of giggling girls. She looked into his eyes then, away from his gaze.  
  
  
  
"Do you mind accompanying me for a walk? I would like to have a little talk with you", he said.  
  
  
  
She nodded as he offered his arm. She took it and together they walked out to the school's compound. They were silent as they made their way to the top of the fields. Slowly, his hand had found hers and she did not do anything about it. She just let him hold her hand. They walked together through the fields in silence. He held her hand but didn't say anything.  
  
  
  
"So what did you want to talk about?" she asked.  
  
  
  
They continued walking on as he spoke.  
  
  
  
"How do you want our relationship to go? Shall we stay on friendship or shall we move on?" he asked.  
  
"I don't know, Eriol", she answered, truthfully.  
  
  
  
They stopped and he looked at her deeply in the eyes. He held both of her hands.  
  
  
  
"I need time Eriol but I want to still share what we have", Tomoyo said.  
  
"Ok, so what does this exactly make us?" Eriol asked.  
  
"I would like us to remain as friends, Eriol. Please.... I don't think I can take another heartbreak", she said, sadly looking away.  
  
  
  
It wasn't exactly an answer that he was looking for. He looked at her, in sadness. She still would not accept him. Even after that night with what they had shared, she still would not let him in. A lone tear trickled down her cheek.  
  
  
  
"Please do understand that I just can't share this with you no matter how much feelings I have for you. I am so sorry, Eriol", she said, tears falling down her cheek.  
  
  
  
He held her into his arms and gave her a light hugged. He felt his heart break into a million pieces. It was hard for her as much as it is hard for him. She did not want any attachments and she had vowed that she will not have any the moment she found out of her illness.  
  
  
  
"Why did God have to make me fall for you at the wrong time?" he murmured.  
  
  
  
She cried on his chest with tears falling down with pain in her own. She started gasping for air and coughing hysterically on his shirt. Blood spilled as she grabbed on to his shirt for dear life. He held her closer, letting his energy help her. The pain on her chest kept drumming on to her. Her eyes wide open with hard tears. The pain was just so tremendous. Her lungs had begun to lose air.  
  
  
  
"Eriol.... Help me ... I- I- .. Eriol", she stuttered in between gasps.  
  
  
  
As darkness consumed her sight, she collapsed. In Eriol's arms she lay, with the pain still pounding on her chest. Her limp and almost lifeless body had collapsed on his. Immediately, he used his magic and transported them to the nearest hospital. He ran towards the doctors and they took care of her from there.  
  
He was left with worry and a heart ache. It had pained him to see her that way. The fact that she won't let him love her was another heartbreaker.  
  
  
  
  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
  
  
The hospital seemed like a hectic place no matter how calm the people look.  
  
Doctors in white coats.  
  
Nurses in their uniform.  
  
Patients with their white gown.  
  
  
  
The sight of people rushing around was an incredibly stressing sight. Eriol stood outside the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) room. Tomoyo was inside with a couple of specialist working on her. Sonomi Daidouji was later seen rushing down the hallway towards him. She looked stressed and very worried.  
  
  
  
"What happened? How? Is she alright?" she asked, questions flying out.  
  
  
  
Then, she saw Eriol and recognized him as one of her daughter's close friends besides Sakura. She quickly went to him. She saw his pale and saddened look. It seems that he had discovered Tomoyo's illness the hard way.  
  
  
  
"Daidouji-san, they are working on her inside. I got her here as soon as I could", Eriol said.  
  
"Thank you, Hiragizawa-kun. I would not have want to know what would have happened if you did not bring her here", Sonomi said.  
  
  
  
He gave her a sad but courteous smile. She returned the favor. She looked through the glass window. The sight of several doctors working on her daughter was heartbreaking. She had kept it for so long. Her daughter had begged her not to let anyone know. She had specifically told her that she did not want sympathy because it would lead to attachments and she would not be able to let go.  
  
Then, she looked at the boy standing next to her. He looked pale and worried. He also looked very sad. The first thought that came to her mind was love. She saw love in the boy with the way he was looking intensively through the glass. He had also a look of fear in his eyes. Perhaps, the fear of losing the girl that he was looking at.  
  
  
  
"Hiragizawa-kun, you have feelings for my daughter, ne?" she asked, directly.  
  
  
  
He was taken back a bit, but nodded.  
  
  
  
"She told you, I assume", she said.  
  
  
  
He nodded, again.  
  
  
  
"I have a feeling that she loves you too, Hiragizawa-kun. Because she had not told anyone about it besides the ones that already knew. I doubt that even Sakura-chan knows about this", Sonomi said.  
  
  
  
He didn't move. He just stood there.  
  
  
  
"She does not return my feelings, Daidouji-san. She refuses to return it even if she does feel that way. She does not want attachments and I shall respect her decision on it", Eriol answered.  
  
"I'm sure she has told you how long she can last until?" she questioned.  
  
"Not long enough to stay for Christmas", he muttered.  
  
  
  
Sonomi admired the young boy who seems to be wiser than his own age. She looked at him, sadly. He was still looking at the window, one hand pressed against the glass. What she saw was enough to convince her that it was love and it was a heartbreaking one.  
  
Such a sad one.  
  
It should not have been bestowed upon them.  
  
They're only barely 18.  
  
18 is where life ends and where it begins.  
  
Is it true?  
  
  
  
  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
  
  
  
  
"Eriol-sama?" a voice said.  
  
"Yes, Ruby Moon", he answered.  
  
"We have visitors", Nakuru said.  
  
"Visitors? At such an ungodly hour?" he asked.  
  
  
  
Nakuru nodded her head.  
  
  
  
"Bring them in", Eriol said.  
  
  
  
Nakuru nodded and left the room. Eriol was in a rather worried mood. Tomoyo was still unconscious in the hospital. He had come back because her mother asked him to do so. He was tired and Daidouji-san did not want him to get sick as well. He sat on his red armchair, looking out the distant skies at the bay window. Spinel Sun rested on his side, doing the same. Spinel had also been rather sad after what Eriol had told both him and Nakuru about Tomoyo's condition. All thoughts swayed away as the two much unexpected guest, appeared.  
  
  
  
"Eriol-sama", two voices greeted.  
  
  
  
Eriol turned around, startled to see Ceroberus and Yue standing at the door.  
  
  
  
"Why.. Yue? Ceroberus? What a lovely surprise?" Eriol said.  
  
"Eriol-sama, we wanted to talk to you about Daidouji-san", Ceroberus said.  
  
  
  
Again, he was startled. Not expecting that the two guardians of the Clow mistress would come to him to talk about 'her'. He told them to sit as Nakuru came in as well. Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun had emerged in their true form.  
  
  
  
"We sense a sad aura within you and we sense her aura weakening", Yue said, in his icy cold voice.  
  
"We would like to know the truth from you what our mistress does not know", Ceroberus said.  
  
"I'm surprised to know that you even care, Yue", Ruby Moon taunted.  
  
  
  
Being Ruby Moon, she was very skeptical about Yue. She doesn't like him and he does not like her. Same goes for Spinel Sun and Ceroberus. They were basically rivalries.  
  
  
  
"There's a lot that you do not know about me, Ruby Moon. So, do not go assuming that you do. Daidouji-san is our mistress' best friend and both Ceroberus and I have a special bond with the girl as well throughout the years", Yue answered.  
  
"We can sense her as we can sense Sakura even if she is born without magic. We can sense that she is dying just like we did when Clow-sama was dying", Ceroberus said.  
  
"Then, why did you come to me when you have already known?" Eriol asked.  
  
  
  
Both Ceroberus and Yue exchanged looks. Spinel Sun and Ruby moon did the same and the four exchanged glances.  
  
  
  
"We also sense something else, Eriol-sama", Spinel Sun said, quietly.  
  
"Then, tell me", Eriol said.  
  
"We sense grief in you as well and that is why we have all come here to try and comfort you", Ceroberus said.  
  
  
  
Eriol was shocked. All four guardians were here, in his grief. They were trying to comfort him. He was touched. He smiled lightly at the four. He patter both Ceroberus and Spinel Sun.  
  
  
  
"We all sense and know how you feel for her. It saddens us as well to know the fate that she holds. If there was anyway we could have saved her from her fate, we would but as you said, death is inevitable as well", Yue said.  
  
"It worries us to see you like this, Master", Ruby moon said.  
  
  
  
Ruby Moon was close to tears. She covered her face in grief. All four guardians had the same sad expression on their faces. The four did care for Tomoyo as much as they did for their own masters. They had created a bond with her during the past few years and had grown to share a love for her as they would have for their own masters. Eriol didn't know how it was possible but it had happened.  
  
  
  
"You all know that I do love her but she would not let me. I cannot do anything but watch her and love her from afar. I respect her decision and her wishes even if it is against my own", he said, sadly.  
  
  
  
A single tear fell down his cheek. It was a heartbreaking sight for all four of the guardians to see. They had never seen him like this before. He sat calm in his red armchair, looking out the dark skies. He looked calm and collected, full with passion and emotions. He might seem like he was carefree but inside, they knew that he was breaking.  
  
  
  
His heart was shattering.  
  
He knew that hers was as well.  
  
So why is it so hard to not be together?  
  
  
  
All he ever wanted at that specific time was just to hold her and spend the rest of her life at her side, loving her like no one could ever do but she had not allowed it. It was hard. The lone tear had fallen and was accompanied by several others. They said that men do not cry, it is a weakness but here sat a strong one crying tears for his beloved.  
  
  
  
The droplet of tear fell from his cheek down to his hand.  
  
As he looked outside, he found the Northern Star or Polaris as some would call it.  
  
He saw a shooting star, shooting across the sky.  
  
That was when he closed his eyes and made a wish.  
  
  
  
'I wish that she would let me be by her side till the very her very last breath'.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*continuation*  
  
  
  
  
  
A/n: Part 2 out of three! I hope you enjoy that one. *Passes out tissue papers* so do review! :D Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go cry my tears out because this chapter was heartbreaking for me. *runs to KyteAura and ruby_servantof_Eli and cries on their shoulder* 


	3. The falling tears of Polaris

Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/n: I'm glad whomever that read this story actually like it. I'm supplying tissue papers for whoever that needs them. *Passes them out* If the last chapter did get to you a bit, you might want to prepare for this one. After this story, I'm writing another one of them sappy ExT sad fic. If you like this one, you will like the next one that I'm writing. The fic is going to be called 'Fly me to Polaris'. So, do watch out for that one.  
  
  
  
  
  
P/s: Just to let you know, there are random points where it is written thoughts #. These little points are bits and pieces of what the character thinks. I hope you get it. I thought it was pretty random to put it there.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*Continuation*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Sapphire....  
  
Amethyst....  
  
Heavens touch of a delicate fire.....  
  
Hells touch for a soft sensual mist.....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*Thoughts 1: I cannot fall in love with the girl but I already am in love with her. I stand by my promise to her and I shall obey her wishes -Eriol Hiragizawa*  
  
  
  
  
  
He sat by her side, observing her sleeping figure. The rise and fall of her chest was steady in rhythm. He held her hand and kissed her palm, feeling her extremely weak pulse. It had been 3 weeks since she had fallen into a deep sleep of coma.  
  
Every night for the past 3 weeks, Eriol had been by her side. He watched his sleeping beauty. It was easier for him because Sonomi Daidouji have transferred Tomoyo from the hospital to the comfort of the Daidouji mansion. She wanted her daughter home and she had allowed Eriol to stay by her daughter's side.  
  
Sonomi had watched the navy blue haired boy that stayed by her daughter's side. She noticed the emotions and concern that he had for Tomoyo. For some reason, she saw Fujitaka's personality in the young boy. The boy did look the way Fujitaka did when Nadeshiko was sick. Both males had the same look of love in their eyes. It was an unmistakable look.  
  
  
  
  
  
*Thoughts 2: His eyes seem so full of love and concern. They looked like Fujitaka's eyes when Nadeshiko was diagnosed with the illness. Both so filled with love and hope. -Sonomi Daidouji*  
  
  
  
  
  
During that period of time, Sonomi had decided to announce Tomoyo's condition. She felt guilty because she was breaking her promise to her own daughter but having to cope with the heartbreak alone was making it harder than it already was. The fact that Tomoyo had no more than 2 months to live was beyond sadness and grief.  
  
When Sonomi told Eriol her decision, he agreed and shared her grief. He even went to the length of hugging the woman just to offer her a sense of comfort. That night, Sonomi broke down and cried for her daughter. Eriol had become her confidant for that one night.  
  
Eriol understood how Sonomi felt, after all; it must have been hard for her to accept the fact that her one and only daughter were going to die before her. She had to put up a strong upfront but it was time for it to break. That trait was familiar in both Daidouji females.  
  
The night after that, Sonomi called Fujitaka and told him the news. The reaction from the other side of the line was instant grief. Fujitaka had announced it to his family and the news were not taken that well.  
  
About 25 minutes later, the Kinomoto family reached the Daidouji mansion. When Sonomi saw Fujitaka, she just broke down and cried. Fujitaka held her in his arms and comforted her. Sakura and Touya didn't look very stabile either. Yukito was there as well because he had been with the Kinomoto family at that time.  
  
The maid took Sakura, Touya and Yukito to Tomoyo's room. They went in and were greeted by the sight of Eriol Hiragizawa holding Tomoyo's hand. At the sense of the reincarnate of the old Clow Master, Ceroberus and Yue emerged to their real forms. They bowed in front of Eriol.  
  
  
  
  
  
*Thoughts 3: Tomoyo-chan, my best friend and my sister, I wish you did not have to go through this. You do not deserve this cruelty. You deserve so much more. -Sakura Kinomoto*  
  
  
  
  
  
Tears formed and streamed down Sakura's cheeks. She went to Tomoyo's side and started crying. Touya comforted his sister by hugging her. It was a devastating sight. Sakura looked at her best friend's sleeping form and broke down into a million pieces. The sight of her close friend in the edge of death as it consumed her brought the sense of loss. Sakura cried in her brother's arms.  
  
Ceroberus and Yue knelt in front of Eriol as they sensed despair in their reincarnated master. Then, Spinel Sun and Ruby Moon appeared into the room. They all sensed despair in their master and they also sense him weakening. Eriol was practically as pale as Tomoyo.  
  
  
  
"Master, how is Tomoyo-sama doing?" Spinel Sun asked.  
  
"Not so well, Spinel Sun", Eriol answered.  
  
"Can't you use magic or something to heal her?" Touya asked.  
  
"Magic cannot stop the inevitable. It is wrong to use magic to stop what is fated for Tomoyo-sama", Yue said.  
  
  
  
It was true what Yue had said. Magic cannot stop the inevitable. It would be wrong and it would probably cause more harm to her and it would jeopardize her health even more. To Eriol, doing the wrong thing for the right reasons is still the wrong thing.  
  
  
  
"Eriol-kun, isn't there something that you can do to help her?" Sakura asked.  
  
"I can only do one thing for her. I can only be her friend and follow her wishes", Eriol said, softly.  
  
  
  
Sakura broke down in hysterics. Nakuru broke down as well. Touya held his sister as she wept tears of grief for her best friend. Spinel Sun patted Nakuru's back with his paw. That night, every barrier broke and they all wept in sadness, fear and frustration.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Another week almost passed by but Tomoyo had finally gained consciousness. Her eyes fluttered open and her vision was focused on the person who was next to her, holding her hand. She was greeted with the sight of her navy blue knight asleep and yet, still holding her hand.  
  
She smiled at the sight that he was here and in some parts of her heart, she felt a bit sadder. She had to admit that she had fallen in love with him but she just simply could not accept him. It was beyond her reach and it was beyond her rules. She had vowed not to fall in love with him during this time of crisis.  
  
Her eyes fell to his hand, which was holding hers. She felt touched by his kindness. She felt rather sickened by his sympathy but she knew that there was more to it than just blind empathies. He had love for her and that love will bring attachments. Attachments, by far is not what she wanted at the moment.  
  
  
  
  
  
*Thoughts 4: Eriol-kun, why do you put yourself in such a position for me? Do you know what you are making me feel? Do you know that you'll only hurt me and yourself in the process? -Tomoyo Daidouji*  
  
  
  
  
  
She slipped her hand out of his hand and touched his face. He looked tired and miserable as if he had not eaten for days. A pang of worry crept from inside her heart. She continued tracing his face with her fingers. He stirred and his eyes snapped open. The moment his vision cleared, he smiled at her.  
  
  
  
  
  
"I'm glad to see that you are finally awake", Eriol said.  
  
"Have you been here for a long time?" she asked, mouth dry.  
  
  
  
Eriol stood up and went to her dresser where there was a jug of water and two glasses. He poured some water into the glass and brought it to Tomoyo. She thanked him before taking long gulps of the water.  
  
  
  
"I've been here for almost 4 weeks", he said.  
  
  
  
Tomoyo put down the glass on her side table. She looked up at Eriol. He seemed so tired and just so miserable and yet, he kept that marvelous smile of his plastered on his face. Somehow, it brought comfort to her.  
  
He charmed her by his smile and his choice of words. They usually brought a deep sense of security to her. It was something very assuring that he had offered to her and she knew that she couldn't resist it. Eriol was simply a charmer. She liked that part of him.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Eriol-kun", Tomoyo called out.  
  
  
  
  
  
He looked at her, waiting for her to speak.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Yes?" Eriol asked.  
  
  
  
  
  
She looked down at her fingers and started to fidget with them as she tried to mutter her gratitude towards him.  
  
  
  
"Thank you", she said.  
  
  
  
He smiled at her, shaking his head. That was enough to make her smile. Then, he gave her a hug. The gesture surprised her and comforted her at the same time. It was as if he was giving her a whole new reason to fight for her life.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A few days later, Tomoyo settled to rest in her room. She managed to pick up a piece of paper and a pencil to start sketching. She managed to sketch out Eriol. The pencil linings featured his trademark smile and his perfectly shaped face.  
  
In return, Eriol sketched her. It was a pretty funny sight as they were both sketching each other in her room. He got all of her features perfectly down to scale. Every pencil stroke brought the sketch to life. Every single touch of his sketch was set down to perfection.  
  
When they were both done, they showed it to each other. She blushed. She took a good look at it and noticed the strokes of perfection. He noticed hers as well. They both begin to blush. Then, she smiled and kissed his cheek, leaving a slight tinge of red on his cheek where she had kissed him.  
  
That day, they were both a bit content into what they were doing. After doing the sketches, Eriol had offered to take her out for a walk if she wanted to. Of course, she did not decline. He took her to Penguin Park, a place where she had not been to for a very long time ever since secondary school started.  
  
There, the two walked and talked at the same time. They shared a bit of every single detail thoughts that they could think of. Eriol had also told her that Sakura and the other knows about her condition. At that time, Tomoyo's face fell but Eriol had assured her that her mother had done it out of concern.  
  
  
  
  
  
*Thoughts 5: You protect yourself from what is to come. You will only suffer in the end with the other people that love you despite your efforts to protect them from being hurt. You will only hurt them and yourself even more. -Eriol Hiragizawa*  
  
  
  
  
  
They stopped at the swings where many events have taken place there before. Many Clow Cards were captured here. Many tears have been wept here and many joys have taken place here as well. Tomoyo sat on one of the swings and began to push herself forward, letting the feeling of wind in her face. Eriol sat on the one next to her.  
  
  
  
"Tomoyo-san", Eriol started.  
  
"Yes, Eriol-kun", Tomoyo said.  
  
"I would like to take you to the city tomorrow along with Sakura and Syaoran", Eriol said.  
  
"You would like to take me?" Tomoyo asked.  
  
"Yes, I would like to take you", Eriol said.  
  
"Sakura and Syaoran as well?" Tomoyo asked.  
  
"I honestly think that it is time that you and Sakura get over this little discovery thing", Eriol said.  
  
"It's not as easy as you say it is, Eriol-kun", Tomoyo said, still swinging.  
  
"You have got to face her, sooner or later." Eriol said.  
  
  
  
Tomoyo looked at Eriol and he smiled at her. She nodded her head in agreement. It was going to be hard. To have kept all those secrets away and to tell it to the person that she had kept it from was going to be a hard task.  
  
Just when the sky was getting dark, they head back to the Daidouji mansion. They took a long stroll, using the long ways and cutting through several different paths. Then, out of surprise, they bumped into Sakura and Syaoran, who were walking hand in hand. It was a rather awkward moment. Sakura's eyes widened at the sight of Tomoyo. Tomoyo looked at the ground and practically hid behind Eriol.  
  
In a split second, Sakura ran towards Tomoyo and hugged the girl. Being Sakura, tears fell easily. It was the tears of joy that Tomoyo was all right. She was just so glad that Tomoyo was fine. Tomoyo hugged her friend back. She was glad that Sakura was not angry with her for not telling her as soon as possible. She hugged Sakura, having the nice feeling of having her best friend again.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura called out, waving.  
  
  
  
Tomoyo smiled as she walked with Eriol towards Sakura and Syaoran. They met up at the train station before going down to the city. Kero, Spinel Sun and Nakuru joined them as well. Together, the group set out for the city. They bought tickets and got to the train, which took them to the city.  
  
The girls talked merrily. All three of them chatted about the latest fashions and the latest designs that they have seen. Nakuru, being half girl was practically into all of the feminine stuff. Eriol, Syaoran and the two guardians had a manly debate over soccer on how English players do so well and are broadcasted all around the world.  
  
Basically, the train was a half an hour ride and by the time they all got there, they were all filled with enough energy to walk the whole day. Nakuru pulled both Tomoyo and Sakura to many different clothing outlets. She also made both Tomoyo and Sakura try on many strange outfits.  
  
The boys were practically bored to death but did not say anything the moment the girls came out parading their outfits that Nakuru had chosen specially for them. After a few stops, the boys excused themselves to go wander off on their own and said that they will meet the girls at a restaurant down the street where they were all familiar with.  
  
In truth, Syaoran wanted to talk to Eriol and they were trying not to get in the middle of the girls bonding sessions. They excused themselves to go to some other shop so that they could leave the girls on their own. The boys went off, leaving the girls with Nakuru.  
  
While Nakuru went nuts with the many different styles of tops, Sakura and Tomoyo got talking. Sakura carefully avoided mentioning about Tomoyo's illness. Tomoyo sensed it and quickly told Sakura about how sorry she was to not let her know first. Sakura went into one of her crying hysterics and hugged Tomoyo. Tomoyo smiled as she felt her chest tightened.  
  
  
  
  
  
*Thoughts 6: I'm going to miss you so much. -Tomoyo Daidouji*  
  
  
  
  
  
When Nakuru was done, the girls went for a walk. Then, they lost Nakuru in one of the shops. The two went straight to the restaurant, as they know that they were supposed to that was where everyone was meeting at if anyone got lost. When they got there, they didn't spot the boys but they went to get a table anyway.  
  
Their table was at the balcony deck, which overlooks the harbour and the ocean view. It was a breathtaking sight. The waiter gave them the menus and waited for their orders. The girl ordered their drinks first as they were waiting for the boys so they could have lunch together.  
  
The waiter smiled and left the two girls after taking down their orders. Both Sakura and Tomoyo looked at the view. Tomoyo smiled at the sight. It was pretty hard to believe that she won't be able to enjoy it in another two months time. Her expressions changed at the thought of it. Sakura noticed the sudden change of expression.  
  
  
  
"Tomoyo-chan, daijoubu desu ka?" Sakura asked.  
  
  
  
Tomoyo snapped out of it and smiled at Sakura.  
  
  
  
'I'm fine", Tomoyo said.  
  
  
  
The waiter appeared with the drinks. He laid down the drinks and left. Sakura looked at Tomoyo. She felt saddened that her best friend was going to leave her soon. The memories that they both shared together were priceless. She had owed her everything in her life to Tomoyo.  
  
Tomoyo had been there from the very beginning. She had been by her side almost all of her life. Tomoyo was the one that stood beside her when the Clow cards had first came. She was also there to tape her life with her video camera. She was there whenever she needed her. Tomoyo was practically her sister.  
  
Tomoyo was also the one who pushed both Syaoran and her to get together despite her own infatuation for her. She never said anything about being displeased at all. The events that almost took her life when she was with her. Sakura felt that she had owed her entire life to Tomoyo.  
  
  
  
"Tomoyo-chan", she started.  
  
"Nani?" Tomoyo asked.  
  
"I never really got to say thank you to you for being there with me all my life. I never really got to tell you how much you meant to me and I think that I better tell you now before it's too late", Sakura said.  
  
"Sakura-chan......."  
  
"I want to say thank you for always being there for me. One is for being my friend and the other for being the closest person to me. You have always brought laughter to my life and comfort to me when I really need it. Tomoyo- chan, thank you so much", Sakura said, tears forming slowly.  
  
  
  
Tears were starting to form in Tomoyo's eyes as well. Tomoyo put her hand on top of Sakura's and smiled at her.  
  
  
  
"You don't have to say you're welcome, Sakura-chan. We're practically siblings. What we share is enough understanding for me", Tomoyo said.  
  
"I may have rejected your feelings as a lover but I have accepted your love to me as a sister. Tomoyo-chan, my love for you might not be enough to stop you from you illness but it is enough to keep your heart beating. I will miss you but I will never stop loving you", Sakura said.  
  
  
  
Tears trickled down Tomoyo's cheek. She went over to Sakura's side and hugged her. They wiped away their tears and smiled at each other.  
  
  
  
"Sakura-chan, I love you too." Tomoyo said in a soft whisper.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Just about a couple of minutes after that, Eriol and Syaoran appeared along with Nakuru. Kero and Spinel Sun were in Nakuru's bag. They noticed that Nakuru was also holding something else, a camcorder. Tomoyo's eyes widened. Sakura raised an eyebrow, questioning the boys.  
  
  
  
  
  
"We thought of filming Daidouji-san and her times with us", Syaoran said.  
  
"This is going to be so fun! I'm going to be the camcorder person!" Nakuru said.  
  
"Let's hope she doesn't break the thing", Spinel Sun said.  
  
"Suppi-chan!" Nakuru spat.  
  
  
  
Everyone laughed. Tomoyo felt a bit strange. Usually, she would be the one behind the camera but this time, she was the objective of the camera. It felt pretty strange. The group ordered their food and chatted along. Syaoran sat next to Sakura while Eriol sat next to Tomoyo. Nakuru sat in between Sakura and Tomoyo so that she could start her filming.  
  
The group started chatting about random things. Then, Eriol resorted to teasing the couple about how far they have gone with each other. The two blushed hard. Tomoyo laughed at the sight. Then, the resorted to playing a small game of truth or dare while eating their lunch.  
  
Sakura was first up. She asked Syaoran 'Truth or Dare'. He replied 'Dare'. She dared him to take off his shirt in front of everyone at the restaurant. Being dared and challenged, Syaoran did it. He was left very red. Nakuru had this filmed. Syaoran managed to dare Eriol to do the same. Eriol did it as well, revealing a rather finely masculine and toned body. Eriol however, did not blush at all but Tomoyo did, for some bizarre reason.  
  
Eriol asked Sakura how far have she gone with Syaoran and this caused major embarrassment to the couple. They refused to tell, but was forced by both Eriol and Tomoyo. Then, Sakura admitted that they have had sex with a very bright red face. Syaoran was equally as red. Nakuru even had this confession filmed.  
  
  
  
"Tomoyo-chan, truth or dare?" Sakura asked.  
  
"Dare", Tomoyo answered.  
  
"Ok, I dare you to give Eriol a kiss", Sakura said.  
  
  
  
Tomoyo stopped smiling. Eriol looked at her and she looked at him. Shyly, she gave him a small peck at the cheek. Sakura frowned and said that it was supposed to be a full on kiss on the lips. Tomoyo was forced and she blushed harder. She turned to him and looked into his eyes. He did not protest. It wasn't the first time that they have kissed, what was the problem? Was there a problem?  
  
She leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the lips. Lips touched and feelings began to emerge. The moment their lips touched, the addiction began. Tomoyo was first to move her lips. She kissed his lower lip and he replied the similar motion. Eyes were closed. They didn't feel anyone else was there besides them. That was when they were disturbed.  
  
  
  
"Kawaii!!!!!!!!!" Sakura squealed.  
  
  
  
The two broke apart immediately and turned away. They blushed deep red. This time both Syaoran and Sakura had the upper hand of disturbing them. They continued the game and nothing harmless came out of that except for a few emerging feelings. Noticeable or not, that's for them to know.  
  
After lunch, the group went for another round of shopping. They stopped by many different shops and even managed to stop by at a photo shop where they took instant personalized portraits of themselves. They managed to dress up and take a picture of it. The guys went for the high class suit while the girls chose the dresses, of course.  
  
The photographer who took their pictures said that each one of them had very photogenic looks and were very lucky to have high features. The poses were very simple. The group one was of all of them together. Nakuru was sitting in front holding the two guardians while Syaoran, Sakura, Tomoyo and Eriol were standing behind her.  
  
  
  
"Now, you four at the back. Guys hold the girls around their waist and girls put your hands on top of theirs", the photographer said.  
  
  
  
Syaoran and Sakura did it without a sweat but Eriol and Tomoyo were a bit hesitant. They were both blushing at it. The photographer however was not very patient. He mumbled something to himself and frowned at the two. Reluctantly, Eriol put his arms around Tomoyo's waist, imitating Syaoran's pose. Tomoyo leaned against his chest and placed her on hands on top of his.  
  
The photographer raised his thumb up and clicks the flash button. The whole group smile with the camera. Then, there were several other pictures taken. Each of the pictures had Tomoyo in it. There was even a personalized picture of her and Eriol in a very enchanting and yet, comfortable pose. Eriol draped his arm on Tomoyo's shoulder and the both of them smiled at the camera.  
  
In about two hours time, all the pictures were developed and it turned out really good. Sakura and Nakuru couldn't stop squealing. They couldn't even stop teasing Tomoyo about how good she looked in the pictures. Usually, this happened to Sakura but now, Tomoyo was in the spotlight. It was something that she wasn't very familiar with.  
  
After the photo shoot session, Nakuru dragged the group to have another round of walking again. This time, Nakuru was very entranced on jewelry. She saw several kinds of necklaces and was pretty interested in getting them. The group followed her wishes of course, and went in with her.  
  
Sakura and Syaoran were looking at rings while Eriol and Tomoyo were just browsing along somewhere else. Nakuru bought a couple of silver necklaces for a real good price while Syaoran bought Sakura a silver emerald ring. Tomoyo squealed and teased the two.  
  
  
  
"Thinking of engagement already, Syaoran-kun?" Tomoyo teased.  
  
  
  
The couple blushed and turned around again. Tomoyo had a look at the collections of rings that were there. A wide variety of diamonds, sapphires, rubies, emeralds and opals were laid out in the glass display. Tomoyo had a tender spot for both Sapphires and amethyst. She liked them both. That was when she spotted a sapphire ring. It was of a brilliant cut. It was simple and yet, it attracted her. She liked the style of it, plain and simple. For some reason, the moment she saw it, it reminded her of Eriol.  
  
Eriol had noticed her interest in the ring as well. He saw the price of the ring, it was quite reasonable for sapphire ring of that size. He made a quick change of mind and left with the rest of the crowd towards another store. He knew that Tomoyo was still thinking of the ring because of her concentration on thoughts. He wondered why.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Knock! Knock!  
  
  
  
The sound of someone outside her door brought a sense of disturbance to her. Tomoyo called the person in. Eriol was not there with her that day. He said he'll drop by later in the evening. Tomoyo felt a bit lonely. She was just in her room, thinking when someone had come and knock on her door.  
  
  
  
"Come in", she said.  
  
  
  
The person came in and greeted Tomoyo. It was Nakuru and she had Spinel Sun with her. Tomoyo was surprised, nonetheless. She was even more surprised when she saw Yukito with them. She greeted the three with a smile. The three closed the door and locked it, wanting to have privacy with Tomoyo.  
  
  
  
"Kobanwa Tomoyo-sama", Spinel Sun and Nakuru greeted.  
  
"Kobanwa Tomoyo-chan", Yukito said.  
  
"Kobanwa. To what honour do I have to have the company of the three of you?" Tomoyo asked.  
  
  
  
The three laughed along with her. Tomoyo left a smile.  
  
  
  
"Actually, the three of us are here to talk to you about something", Nakuru said.  
  
"Let me change to my other half, he says he needs to talk to you", Yukito said.  
  
  
  
Instantly, Yue emerged from Yukito's body. Tomoyo was intrigued. When Yue was done, the three guardians seemed more prepared. Tomoyo wondered what exactly did they wanted to talk about.  
  
  
  
"So, tell me. Why are the three of you here?" Tomoyo asked.  
  
"We have come to tell you that we sympathized your situation right now, Tomoyo-sama. We come to offer you comfort as we sense your despair", Spinel Sun said.  
  
"The three of you can sense me?" she asked, bewildered.  
  
"Yes, we can all sense you", Nakuru said, softly.  
  
"How is it possible? I am not your master and I do not have a magical background", Tomoyo said.  
  
"The bond that we share with you is as strong as the ones that we share with out masters. You have showered us with the same feelings and emotions as they have. You treat us as an equal to you. For that, we are eternally in your debt of kindness", Yue said.  
  
"A bond? We all share a bond?" Tomoyo asked.  
  
  
  
The three nodded their heads. Tomoyo felt astonished. She also felt saddened. She had tried as far as possible to just forget about death for once but everyone was making her feel so precious and it was making it hard for her. With the three guardians here, telling her this. She felt even more burdened. It was just like what Eriol and Sakura was doing to her. They made her feel wanted. They made her feel that her death was not as easy as it seems. They made her feel loved.  
  
  
  
"We can also sense your fear for your feelings, Tomoyo-sama", Spinel Sun said.  
  
"My fear of my feelings?" Tomoyo asked.  
  
  
  
She looked at the three. Had they been reading her mind? The first word that came to her mind was Eriol. The first image to appear in her head was Eriol. The first voice she heard in her head was also Eriol. She walked towards her balcony and looked out sadly.  
  
  
  
"You do have feelings for Eriol-sama, don't you?" Nakuru asked.  
  
  
  
Tomoyo nodded her head.  
  
  
  
"Then, why do you not accept him? Why do you leave him to torment himself with these unreturned feelings of yours?" Spinel Sun asked.  
  
  
  
Tomoyo went silent. She just looked out of the mirror. A single tear fell down her cheek. The three noticed it and had felt sorry for her.  
  
  
  
"The reason why I wish not to accept his feelings is because I feel that it is a selfish act. I do not want him to stay attached to the memory of me and not move on. Spinel Sun, Nakuru, Yue, Eriol cannot love me. I have rejected him before and thought that he would have given up but he did not", she said.  
  
  
  
Another teardrop fell down her cheeks and hit the ground.  
  
  
  
"That night that I shared with him in the mansion when I told him of my illness. I felt so scared and I felt so unprotected when I told him. I felt vulnerable. He turned it around and comforted me that night. I accepted his love that night and thought I could handled it but he showed me that he refused to erase me from his mind. My death will torture him. It will always follow him like a shadow if he does not keep his feelings away from me", Tomoyo said.  
  
  
  
This time, Nakuru shed a tear as well.  
  
  
  
"You have already accepted your death? Your fate?" Yue asked.  
  
"As much as I would love to wish for a longer life, I will not. I have accepted death and I do welcome my fate with a pair of open arms and an open heart", Tomoyo said.  
  
"But what is to become to your feelings for Eriol-sama? Don't you feel hurt at all? Don't you feel a single pain in you when you reject him and see him the way he is? Isn't that even more torturing to him?" Spinel Sun asked.  
  
  
  
Tomoyo stopped dead track. Tears were already falling down her cheeks. She was trying to be strong but she just couldn't. She fell down on her knees and broke down. Instantly, the three guardians came to her side and comforted her. Yue wrapped his arms around the girl and gave her a sense of comfort.  
  
  
  
"It is the hardest thing for me to do. For me to look him in the eye and tell him that I cannot return his feelings broke me more than it did to him. I was afraid at that time and I still am now. I am afraid what will come to him and me. I do not want him to feel like he has no more life without me in it", she said, crying tears of sadness.  
  
  
  
The three gave her a break. Tomoyo cried on Yue's chest. She had been crying so much lately. She had let out all her emotions almost everyday. It had been a repeating motion. Every night that she had been alone, she cried, thinking about death.  
  
It had scared her more now that it was already the second last week of November. She had started to feel weak. She had already started to feel her lungs weakening. The pain on her chest was beginning to feel unbearable. She knew that slowly, her life was being drained out of her and soon, she will no longer be alive.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The sky outside was dark.  
  
The dark blue horizon had taken over the light of the day.  
  
The streets of Tomoeda were bright as it was the Festival of Lights.  
  
  
  
Every year, Tomoeda would celebrate this occasion. Every year, Tomoyo would celebrate this occasion with her friends. This year, it was to be her last. Like every year, Sakura and her would go to the Tsukimine Shrine on top of the hill, where Kaho Mizuki or Mizuki-sensei used to work. Her father was the owner of the place and she had went there to help during Sakura's first time capturing the Clow cards of course.  
  
Tonight, she was going to be joined by her other friends which were Takeshi Yamazaki, Chiharu Mihara, Reika Sasaki and Naoko Yanagisawa. Of course, Sakura, Syaoran and Eriol were to join as well. By tradition, the girls should wear the kimono and the guys should wear the equivalent of it.  
  
Tomoyo wore a gorgeous looking kimono. It was a light mixed color of purple and pink with silver streaming. It fitted her nicely and brought out the nice contrast with her eyes as well. Her hair was nicely done up into a complicated messy bun with a few strands curled, hanging down her face, creating a framing effect.  
  
She took quite some time to dress up so nicely. After all, tonight was the night of celebrations. As she looked in the mirror for the effect, she had to say that it was nicely done although her skin was pale as ever. It was far too pale to be called fair. She had a bit of foundation and powder on just to make her face glow. To finish it up, she applied a bit of lip gloss on her lips.  
  
Her driver drove her straight to the footsteps of the shrine where some of her friends were already there. Reika, Yamazaki, Naoko, Chiharu and Eriol were already there and they were talking. Tomoyo got out of the car and went to them. Her friends greeted her with a nice compliment of her looks. Eriol showered her with the most compliments which caused her to blush.  
  
  
  
"You look enchanting, Tomoyo-chan", Eriol said.  
  
"You don't look so bad yourself, Eriol-kun", Tomoyo said.  
  
  
  
It was true. Eriol was not wearing the traditional outfit but he was wearing a very nice outfit. He wore a dark navy blue turtleneck sweater with a simple coat to keep him warm and black jeans. He looked dashing. He had on a very simple outfit but it did bring out a sense of style to his features. His smile again was very charming and warm.  
  
  
  
"Did you know that back then, the people of Tomoeda used to dress up like ghost during the festival of lights to scare away the light ghosts?" Yamazaki said.  
  
"Yamazaki!!!!!!" Chiharu yelled.  
  
"Oh, and that the light ghosts only wants the virgin women. They tend to possessed the men to seduced the women into their house and still the women's virginity", Eriol continued on.  
  
  
  
By that time, all the girls were blushing madly and were rather scared. Chiharu had her hands strangling Yamazaki's neck. It was a rather hilarious sight. Tomoyo blushed at Eriol's continuation and looked away. Then, a familiar voice was heard.  
  
  
  
"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
  
It was Sakura; she was running with Syaoran by her side. They ran towards the group, panting. The group was grinning at the couple at why they were late. Tomoyo decided to taunt the two.  
  
  
  
"The light ghost didn't possess Li-kun to get your virginity, did it, Sakura-chan? Is that why you are late?" Tomoyo asked.  
  
"Nani?" Sakura asked.  
  
  
  
When she got it, she blushed into a deep crimson color of red. The group then went and looked around at the many different games that had been opened. The festival had many lights and was very well done. There were games, there were hawkers and there were so many other activities to do.  
  
Together, as a group, they went around, enjoying themselves. However, the two couples that were in the group were showing close affections to each other. Yamazaki and Chiharu were holding hands and smiling at each other. Sakura was holding Syaoran's arm as they walk.  
  
The guys had a wild competition when they came to the teddy bear stands. All three guys had their guns loaded and began to shoot their target. They all had perfect aim and perfect shots. The teddy bears were being loaded to the table.  
  
Yamazaki's pile was for Chiharu, Syaoran's pile was for Sakura and Eriol's pile was for the all three of the girls, Reika, Naoko and Tomoyo so that they did not feel left out. Reika and Naoko thanked Eriol. Of course, the largest teddy bear went to Tomoyo. She blushed and quietly thanked him for getting it for her.  
  
Then somehow, the group broke and most of them had wandered off by themselves. Eriol got stuck with Tomoyo, no surprise there. He was with her at every moment. He had helped her get a gold fish and he had also watched her get hoops on the target to get a plushy toy. She liked his company because he didn't make her feel pressured. He did not push her or made her feel awkward that so many things have been happening lately.  
  
Eriol suggested that they took a walk around the lake. Tomoyo agreed. The two walked on in silence. Both having thoughts in their head. It was the solitude that brought comfort to both of them and to solitude, they shall return it to. It was somehow, relaxing.  
  
For two weeks, Tomoyo have been watching Eriol and she had felt so much for him. She had to keep herself away from feeling attached to him. Yes, she loved him but she just couldn't have him feel that way for her, not at a time like this. Not when he knew that he was going to lose her.  
  
She was already counting down the days. It was already the first week of December. The chill and the wind were showing that the bitter winter was coming. Her heart was also beating slower than before. She could feel it coming and she was starting to grow scared. With all that everyone had done for her, she felt like someone stabbing her heart. It was a damage done to her. All her vows for attachments had failed. She now feared leaving them and she feared death.  
  
Eriol had noticed the aura in the girl weakening, day by day. He knew that she was trying to hide everything. He knew her tricks. Eriol had also been watching her everyday and every night whether he was by her side or not. He had been observing how her breathing was suddenly no longer in rhythm at night and how she was having a hard time running. He noticed almost the slightest difference in her. He knew that it was coming and he could feel her fear.  
  
  
  
"Eriol-kun?" she said, quietly.  
  
"Nani?" Eriol asked.  
  
"Daijoubu desu ka?" she asked.  
  
"Daijoubu da yo", he answered.  
  
"You seem to have drifted off", Tomoyo said, softly.  
  
"Gomen ne", he said.  
  
"It's alright", she said.  
  
  
  
Again, silence. They both looked into the water and saw each other. Then, Eriol realized something. He had something to give to Tomoyo. He reached out into the pocket and grabbed it.  
  
  
  
"Tomoyo, I have something to give to you", Eriol said.  
  
"You do?" Tomoyo asked.  
  
  
  
Eriol held out a small velvet box in his hand. Tomoyo was astonished, she blinked. She reached out for the box, opened it and her mouth dropped. Inside the box was the ring that she had eyed that day when they were in the city. She looked at Eriol.  
  
  
  
"I thought you might liked it, so I bought it", Eriol said.  
  
"Eriol-kun..... I cannot accept this. This is too much", Tomoyo said  
  
  
  
She gave the box back to him. He shook her head and gently placed it back into her hand. She looked at him. She didn't know what to say. Then, he took the ring out and placed in on her middle finger.  
  
  
  
"Take it as a ring of friendship, from me to you", Eriol said.  
  
  
  
She didn't know what to say. She saw the ring sparkle under the moonlight. She looked at it and then she looked at Eriol. He had bought her the ring that she was eyeing at the other day. It was a gift from him to her. She was astounded. Then, he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.  
  
  
  
"That could not have meant friendship, Eriol-kun", Tomoyo said, teasing him.  
  
"It might not have meant friendship, for all you know", Eriol said.  
  
  
  
He closed in to her. She felt breathless. Again, he had did this to her. This time, she did not push him away. She let him close in to her. She let him wrapped his arms around her waist. She wanted him to do so. She closed her eyes and let him hold her. He was a bit surprised but he offered her comfort.  
  
He turned her around and looked deeply into her eyes. She gazed back at him. She was so lost, she was vulnerable, and she was everything but fine. She felt his grip around her tightened. He smiled softly at her before leaning down and placing his lips on hers into a soft gentle kiss. Her eyes fluttered close as she felt his lips on hers.  
  
It was a soft, gentle and sweet one. She felt a tear forming and falling down her cheek. She felt saved by him. His lips were kissing hers and making her feel things that she couldn't explain. The moment his tongue licked her lips, begging for entrance. She let him in. Not only physically but mentally as well.  
  
The moment lasted for quite sometime. Then, they broke apart for air. He looked at her and she looked back at him. She smiled, signifying that she did accept him and that she allowed him to share her moments with her. He smiled down at the raven angel he was holding in his arms.  
  
  
  
"I love you, Tomoyo", he whispered into her ears.  
  
"I..... Love......."  
  
  
  
She felt weak. Just before she could say it, she fell on Eriol. She just felt like all the energy she had just went out of her body. Eriol caught her before she could fall. He started to worry.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Tomoyo, I'm taking you to the hospital", he said.  
  
"No! I don't want to. I want to go home", she said, weakly.  
  
  
  
That was when she felt her chest tightened. Her eyes widened at the sudden impact of pain that had struck her chest. Her grip on Eriol's shirt tightened as her other hand clutched her heart. She was having a hard time breathing and she was coughing as well. The moment she started coughing, blood spilled. She kept coughing and she couldn't stop herself. Eriol held her in his arms, not knowing what to do.  
  
He watched as she coughed blood out to his shirt. He couldn't believe what was happening. On moment, she had accepted him and the other minute; she was coughing for her life. Her eyes widened and it was a horrific sight. She was coughing and blood was spilling everywhere.  
  
  
  
"Eriol-kun... Help me... I do not want to go to the hospital", she begged him.  
  
  
  
Eriol was left with a hard choice. Immediately, he sent distressed signals to Sakura and Syaoran before transporting Tomoyo and himself to the hospital despite her wishes. There, the doctor was alerted immediately. Eriol carried her to the bed and the nurses dealt with her from then. He followed them as they entered the emergency room.  
  
His mind was so confused. His energy went through her but it did not manage to calm her down like it had used to. He held Tomoyo's hand as she was rushed into the room. They fused around with Tomoyo and made Eriol leave the room. He left, reluctant. Now he was scared. He was scared for her. He didn't want to think that she was going to go. He prayed that she will be alright. He punched the wall in frustration.  
  
  
  
"Eriol-kun!" Sakura's voice was heard.  
  
  
  
He turned around to see Sakura, Syaoran and Sonomi running towards him.  
  
  
  
"What happened?" Sonomi asked.  
  
"We were talking and she just started coughing blood. I brought her back here. She said she didn't want to go to the hospital", Eriol said.  
  
"How is she right now?" Sakura asked.  
  
"I don't know.. I don't know..." Eriol said, shaking his head.  
  
  
  
  
  
Syaoran held Sakura. She had her hands over her mouth. She didn't know what else to do. Sonomi was quiet on her own. Eriol was just frustrated. He slumped down and just sat there, head on knees and arms wrapped around his legs. They stayed like that for a while and kept their heads on the light which flashed 'Emergency room'.  
  
After about two hours, the doctors came out of the emergency room. Immediately, all four of them went up to him, asking him about Tomoyo's condition. He looked down and told them what they had to know.  
  
  
  
"I'm sorry but we can't do anything for her anymore. Her lungs are just too damaged. I'm afraid that you will have to prepare yourselves for her", he said.  
  
  
  
The four was left in sadness. Sakura and Sonomi cried. Eriol was heartbroken. It was unfair. She had just told him that she had accepted him. She had just fully accepted him to her heart. Tears started streaming down his cheek as he punched the wall. He was frustrated and he was sad. This wasn't supposed to happen. This was all wrong. He wiped away his tears and faced the others.  
  
  
  
"This should not have happened", Eriol said, frustrated.  
  
  
  
The others looked at him.  
  
  
  
"This shouldn't be happening! Not now...."Eriol said.  
  
  
  
Hot tears poured by a few droplets, one by one. He slumped on the wall again, collapsing and leaning towards the wall. His head fell on his knees as he cried. He was about to lose the one girl who made his life complete. It hurts. He did not prepare himself for it. He cried out on his hearts contents.  
  
After a while, he stood up and faced the others.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Let's bring Tomoyo back to the mansion. It is her wish that she doesn't die in the hospital", Eriol said, wiping away his tears.  
  
  
  
The others looked at him and nodded.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It was unfair how everything was supposed to be fine but it wasn't.  
  
It was unfair how she was just supposed to go like that.  
  
It was unfair how life was so complicated.  
  
It was also unfair how it was just hard to let go.  
  
  
  
  
  
Tomoyo was transported back to the Daidouji residence, to her own room. Sakura, Syaoran, Sonomi, Touya, Fujitaka, Nakuru, Spinel Sun, Nakuru, Yukito and Kero were there along with Eriol. They were all standing by the back of the walls while Sakura and Eriol sat just on Tomoyo's sides.  
  
The raven girl was breathing in a very slow rhythm, signifying that anytime, she could just stop breathing. Her eyes closed, in a rather deep sleep. Her body looked lifeless, as if all energy has been sucked out. She looked weak and extremely pale. It was a sight of sadness for those who knew her and for those who were watching her.  
  
Sobs and sniffs were heard in the room, mostly coming from Sonomi, Nakuru and Sakura. Tears fell to the ground, not drying. Content faces all looking miserable at the raven girl who is about to give up her life, once and for all. The girl that they had all knew and loved.  
  
The moment she stirred and opened her eyes, everyone was beginning to feel a bit happy but it changed to sad, in a split second. Tomoyo had her eyes set on everyone who was in her room. She saw the tears coming down from her own mother, Sakura and Nakuru. She noticed tear stains on Eriol's cheeks despite the dim lights in the room. She felt weak. She knew what was coming to her.  
  
The first person that she reached out to was her mother. She called her to her and told her how much she loved her and that she should always know that she is there with her. The second person was Touya. She thanked him for being there as a brother to her and told him to take care of Yukito- san. Then, she thanked Fujitaka for his constant hospitality that he provided whenever she was with them.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Li-kun, I have always envied how you managed to steal Sakura's heart when back then I was in love with her. I had hated you once but the moment you came back and I saw Sakura's eyes, I think that you deserved her more than anyone else. You have been the best of friends so far and I want to thank you for that", Tomoyo said, weakly.  
  
"Daidouji-san, I have never thank you for getting me and Sakura together, despite your own feelings for her. I guess now would be the right time. You have been the greatest female friend I have besides Meiling and I would just like to thank you for that. I am forever in your debt", Syaoran said.  
  
  
  
  
  
She smiled, weakly at him and he returned the favor. He leaned in, kissed her on the forehead and stepped back. Tomoyo looked up at Sakura. Sakura was crying and it broke Tomoyo's heart. She held back the tears; she didn't want anymore tears to fall. She reached out for Sakura's hand and held it. Sakura looked at her and shook her head.  
  
  
  
"You cannot leave me here like this, Tomoyo-chan. You cannot leave me", Sakura wailed.  
  
"I'm sorry, Sakura", Tomoyo said.  
  
"You cannot leave me, I'll never be able to move on without you", Sakura cried.  
  
"You can.... I'm not your only friend, Sakura. You have so many others. You will survive and you will move on but promise me something", Tomoyo said.  
  
"What? Anything, just don't leave me. Please.. don't leave like this", Sakura cried.  
  
"Promise me that you will always remember me and that you will always smile", Tomoyo said.  
  
  
  
Sakura cried harder and buried her head on Tomoyo's chest. She nodded her head but she cried harder. Her tears soaked Tomoyo's shirt and made Tomoyo feel even sadder. It was so hard to let go with everyone like this. She looked at Eriol, who was looking at her with more than just love in his eyes.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*Thoughts 7: I have been granted my wish but why does my heart not feel content? -Eriol Hiragizawa*  
  
  
  
  
  
Eriol held her other hand when he saw her reaching out to him. Sakura stepped back and went into Syaoran's arms. Everyone left the room, for the two to be alone. They were all saddened with grief, by the fact that the raven beauty was going to leave for life. They wanted Eriol, the one who suffered the most to spend her last moments with her.  
  
The moment everyone left, Tomoyo looked at Eriol in the eyes. He smiled at her, giving her a comfort and a bit of assurance that things will be alright. She believed him of course despite the fact that she was going to go. He held her hand and kissed her knuckles. The sapphire ring still stayed on her finger.  
  
  
  
"Eriol-kun... Take me to the window, I want to see the stars", Tomoyo requested.  
  
  
  
Eriol obeyed her wish. He gently picked her up in his arms and brought her to the bay window where there was a chair. He sat on it and held her with her sitting on his lap, leaning against him. He could feel her aura weakening and dropping at a very quick pace.  
  
  
  
"That's Polaris, isn't it?" Tomoyo asked.  
  
  
  
Eriol nodded.  
  
  
  
Polaris was another name for the Northern Star. It was also known as heaven to some people. It was a place of pure serenity and solace. It was a place where people who have settled everything on earth would go to when their time has come and if a shooting star shoots from Polaris, it means that someone is chosen to join the stars.  
  
People usually make a wish when they see a shooting star. Like the other night, Eriol made a wish and it had come true. He felt a loss in his heart. He was holding her in his arms, waiting for her life to end to her last breath.  
  
She watched the sky and felt Eriol's warmth, despite the sudden chill that she was getting. She felt his arms wrapped around her, tightened. She felt the comfort that he was giving her. He kissed her temple several times.  
  
  
  
"Eriol-kun...." she started.  
  
"Ssh... Don't speak, let's just enjoy this, alright?" he whispered into her ears.  
  
"Eriol... I want to say something", she said.  
  
  
  
He let her continue, turning her to let her face him.  
  
  
  
"I want you to make a promise to me. I want you to promise me that you will forget me and erase me from your heart. I want you to move on", she said.  
  
"I don't think I can", Eriol said, shaking his head.  
  
"You must, for me. Please Eriol, promise me", she said, her breathe caught in her throat.  
  
  
  
Tomoyo was looking at him with pleading eyes. Tears were forming and were about to fall but he could tell that she was trying to be strong for herself. She wanted him to promise her the impossible. It was her last wish and she had wanted it to be done. Eriol looked at her, trying not to cry as well. Hot tears stung from behind his eyes, waiting to trickle down his cheeks.  
  
  
  
"Eriol-kun.. please.. "She pleaded.  
  
"I promise", he said, reluctantly.  
  
  
  
She smiled at him and looked at the stars again. She stared up at the sky, awaiting unconsciousness to overtake her. She felt Eriol's nose nuzzling her hair. She had felt content but she still wanted to tell him how she really felt before she went. She turned to him again and gave him a final kiss.  
  
He felt her lips on his for a short moment just before she took her last breathe and fell limp on him. Her eyes closed and her lips curved in a smile. A single tear fell down from her eyes to her cheek.  
  
For a moment, he stared into the sky and holding the lifeless body of his most beloved. A shooting star came shooting in the skies. It was from Polaris. It had claimed her life. Tears trickled down his cheek as he continued holding Tomoyo in his arms.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Tonight, I wish to make another wish. I wish that she would know that I will love her always and forevermore", he whispered, directing it to the skies as the star shot over it.  
  
  
  
  
  
His face had no expression. He had felt only sadness. He felt the most painful lost that he could ever feel. He had lost her far too early. He was not prepared for it but she had gone and he had made a promise that he could never keep.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*Thoughts 8: The shooting star has come from the North. That is the pure porcelain tears of Polaris. The heavens are crying for the one that they had claim the life from. They shed a tear for the one that they have come to chose and the life that they claimed was hers. -Eriol Hiragizawa*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Tomoyo Daidouji had died on the 3rd of December 2002. She was loved by many and cared by many. This was her story of the last moments that she had with her loved ones. She died peacefully and happily in the arms of Eriol Hiragizawa, her beloved one. She died at precisely 11pm at night when the shooting star from Polaris had shot over the skies. She had secretly made 2 wishes that night.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Dear Polaris,  
  
I wish to make two wishes.  
  
One, I wish that everyone that I love will always remember how much I love them.  
  
And my second wish.....  
  
I wish that some day....  
  
I would be able to return to them again....  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*The end*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/n: That is it! I've finished it. I hope that you enjoyed it and don't forget to review! 


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